just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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