just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
