I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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