I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
my being single is dangerous.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
