hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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