Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
