Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
