You made me cry and you don't even care
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
wow bdsm is so cute
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
