You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
