You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
