I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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