Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
