Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just saw a hot homeless man
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
