I just made out with a guy for $7.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
