If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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