Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
