there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
