I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
