We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
