there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Houston, we have a blender
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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