She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
