I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
