That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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