I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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