Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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