Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize