We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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