It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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