At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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