She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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