So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
