I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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