So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
