I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Can I color on your dick again?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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