They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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