so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
