My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
