I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you win again, gameday.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
