when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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