i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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