In the future we'll all be gay
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
