ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize