I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Well I just put wine in my tea
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
