please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
