I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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