That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
