"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
