I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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