I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
