why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
