I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
