someone owes me an orgasm
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
