It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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