I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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