and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
