KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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