Just fell off a train. Bad.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
