i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
