We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
