I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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