what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I AM VODKA MAN
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
you never un-have a 4some
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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