I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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