just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
